Entry From Backside Only

When I was some 12 years old, I read in one of my English text book stories about how Pundit Jawaharlal Nehru hurled a book called 'Kim' by Rudyard Kipling from a train he was travelling by because the book degraded Indians. This intrigued me so much that I read 'Kim' at least half-a-dozen times trying to identify why exactly Nehru got so offended. I did not find anything offending in that book and also found it difficult to relate to the emotion Nehru must have felt when threw the book out of the window.

Well, now I can relate to him. I bought a book called 'Entry From Backside Only -- hazaar fundas of indian-english' by Binoo K John (the lower case 'i' and 'e' is the author's idea). I read 10 pages until now, and I am waiting for my vacation in a few days so I can fling it out of a train. My limited knowledge of English has taught me that language is always evolving, and it should if it has to survive. Every region gives a different flavor to a common language, and all these flavors are equally important. Thanks to Dr.Nitin More for inculcating these thoughts in me when he taught me the intricacies of this beautiful language. Apart from teaching me English, he taught me to be proud of my Indian English and, at the same time, know that native English speakers will find it difficult to understand me if I do not neutralize it. I feel the Mr. John needs a lesson or two here. He also does not seem to know the difference between misspellings and Indian spellings. Instead of mocking the misspelling by a poor guy who sells omelettes for a living, Mr John needs to meditate on the 'why' questions.

He clearly does not understand things like regional language influence, dialects, various registers of English, and basically, principles of adaptation of a foreign language.

The book ridicules Indian English to such an extent that I feel like tearing the book apart right now. But I will wait until I travel by train and fling it out :) (Update, after my vaccation: I flung the book out of the train :) :) on my way back from Rajasthan)

Here are a couple of quotes from the book that got my blood boiling.

"...Linguistic misuse does not seem to worry the users of such bastardized forms of English but it has gained its own constituency and acceptance."

"Caught between the inability to articulate in a foreign language and the rather inexplicable need to be seen using English, the Indian actually gets the shivers."

I better stop here before I stoop lower to criticize the author and the book. Positively the worse book I have read until now.