My Will

(Picture: That's not me. That's my ghost)

I want to complete the task of cycling to work in the next few days. After training for it for a while (and not being regular to the gym in the last few days), I thought I will give it a shot now.

This is not going to be easy in more than one ways. My main obstacles are going to be 1) the sheer distance of 30 KMs, 2) lack of physical stamina (and fainting as a result), 3) possibility of getting injured (like pulling a muscle or tearing a ligament), 4) unruly traffic (doesn't need any elaboration) and more importantly, dogs, rabbied dogs chasing and biting me.

Just in case something happens, I wanted to leave a will.

So here goes...

Damn! I don't have too much to give and have too many friends. To crack this, I am not going to find something to give to every friend of mine but I will give everything I have to friends who may be interested in them instead. This would mean I will miss a LOT of names. Lots of love to all of you. It's not you, but the fact that I don't have anything to give you. Since this is a fun will, family is not involved.

Let me start with books. Jessie Charian, you get to keep all my brand new books but leave your old worn out ones in my book shelf. I believe in reincarnation (for now), and just in case I am born into the same family, I would like to have a good collection of books to read. Bindu Oommen, you get to keep all my books that you are supposed to return to me. But no one gets to touch my Mills and Boon collection (Gayatri Krishnamoorthy, not even you :P). That is mine and mine alone. It is really difficult to part with my history books but I need to renounce the earthly bonds to go to heaven so, with a heavy heart, I let Uma Nair take all of them, including all my Egyptian mythology, history and fiction books -- especially 'The River God' (which is not mine, but never mind, after me, the book is yours).

Kaushik Anand Kumar, I have a bunch of vouchers from Odyssey and Cross Words in my bag. They are all yours. Don't touch my bag though. Ask your wife to pick them up for you. Ruksha Patel, my super good looking cracked leather bag is all yours. It has become old and is tearing in corners but its a real traffic stopper and I love it to bits. Nikita Sharma, I would have given you all my accessories (yes all of them) but I don't have any! Sujatha Narapaneni, my saris (all 3 of them!!) are yours. The bottle of Baileys Irish Cream that is lying with me for ages, Sanjana Sanjiv and Vinitha Naidu, who else can have the rights to it but you.

That leaves me only with my clothes. I love them too much to give them away so my cupboard will inherit all of them. Now my bicycle. Anupam Palvia, since you played a big role in making me do this, you get to keep my bicycle (I borrowed it from my neighbor for a few days. I will leave you to discuss this with the owner).

Kaushik, you inherit something else too. You get the admin rights of my site. You can't post, but should regularly check the comments and publish them as appropriate. I delete all comments that don't say nice things about me. I expect you to do the same.