Death Wish

(Picture: Ireland, during one of the treks)

Before I proceed any further let me first clarify that I am not suicidal. I am fully prepared and am determined to lead a long and happy life. I love my family and this is not a dark post. Everyone thinks about death at some point or the other and I do too. A conversation with a friend made me convert the thoughts into a post. Nothing more to this than that. Now that I have made that clear, on to my thoughts.

I don't believe in re-incarnation, I don't believe in heaven and hell. Having said that, I also accept that all of this belongs to the unknown, so statements like these may be silly. Assuming there is re-incarnation, I would like to experience something new -- things I have not experienced in this lifetime. May be be born as a tribal in Africa or an Eskimo in Alaska. Assuming there is heaven and hell, I don't have a preference of where I want to go. Irrespective of where I land, it will be interesting to see a different world. Assuming there is nothing, like I think there isn't, I want to cease to exist in any shape or form when my time ends.

I want my family and friends to forget me the moment I am dead. Simply erase all memories of me from their brain and move on to adapting their lives to the new situation. I don't subscribe to the thought of 'celebrate my life, don't grieve my death'. I have lost my grand parents and my father-in-law and have realized that human body grieves for ever. There is nothing called remembering the happy moments. Memories of loved ones who have passed away have a permanent tag of pain attached to them irrespective of which shade they come in. Giving pain to my family is the last thing I would want. Like I mentioned in my post to my son on his birthday, there are no good situations and bad situations. There are just situations and there is no escape from learning to deal with them. I would like my family to quickly pass this phase of re-orienting themselves in whichever way works well when I am not with them anymore.

With two religions playing a big role in my life, there is bound to be a debate on whether to burn my body or bury it. I would like my family to understood that (at this current moment) I believe in neither and I would not want my remains to be wasted. Reuse whatever organs can be reused and put whatever remains on an operation table for future surgeons to practice their lessons. Having said this, I don't want to be responsible for people not earning their daily wage because of me. Pay the guys who prepare for the burial though there is no burial and pay a poor brahmin who would have conducted the cremation though there would be none. Give away all my belongings, clean the cupboards and enjoy the extra space that it would create.

I want all of this to happen very swiftly with a turn around time of not more than 12 hours. After that I want Will Smith to visit with his memory erasing device, wear his dark glasses and press the button. The end.